Survival In The Black

 Has it really been 13 years since I last updated this blog? Damn! Time flies while life goes on. I actually forgot I started this blog while I was a Firefly role player and I spent the evening reading my posts. Damn, I was impressed. I was actually pretty good. Not write my own book and sell it good but good for short stories maybe.  So much of my life has passed by. My nephew, the love of my life, came out as trans at 13. My whole life has been in support of him and his dreams whatever they are. He graduated this year which made me sob but in a good way. He's a smart kid with his whole life ahead of him. My brother's kids are smart cookies as well, I love them all so damned much. My father passed in 2018 from lung cancer and the effects of agent orange. Our relationship was never truly mended. I still think of him and in a way miss him. I had some health issues last year but Im feeling better now. Lost weight and am more active.  I dont know what I am going to do with t...

"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." Rose Kennedy. Dear Diary, Life is a wondrous and crazy thing isn't it? Just when you were at your lowest and you thought it couldn't get any better, it does. It surprises the hell out of you and decides to make a big fat liar out of your beliefs. Its been wonderful for me lately. I opened a shop on a new world. Business has been good. I stopped practicing medicine. I have met someone amazing who makes my heart skip a beat every time he looks at me. And I have the bestest friends anyone could ever have. I have learned to trust again. And I have made a great life for myself. Sure, I miss my old friends. But it comes down to what is right for me. I am far away from Reavers... in fact, I havnt seen or heard reavers since I came here. Im happy. Bel

Out of the black, a familiar face appears. A lot more scars from battles, and being wrestled to the ground by the Fates and various other dieties that seem to want something to do with her. Yet her spirit and soul are intact. Odd that with as much that as happened to her they seem to be the only things unscarred. The life she now leads brings her a joy she couldnt fathom. A brother who sees her whenever she feels the most invisible. Singing the song about sunshine and gray skies. Always laughing at her lame jokes and never once making her feel less important than anyone else. He said she needed an ego. An ego as big as the verse. Seems she didnt have much of one. And that made him sad. And she would do anything for her Rockstar. So an ego she got. Shiny and new and even though its new born, she can feel it getting stronger with each day. And she gained a sister, so dear and amazing. She lights up the room. Her Rockstar and her making her Sissy laugh, every day better than the last. Al...

It's time to forget about the past To wash away what happened last Hide behind an empty face Don't ask too much the same 'Cause this is just a game - Beautiful Lie – 30 Seconds To Mars Bel shut off the cortex, feeling better after talking to Sea and Sabrina. She sat back in her chair and looked out the window at the busy world outside and she contemplated everything that led up to this moment. Everything from the moment of her father’s death to the minute she left Hale’s Moon. Every second moving in her head like a movie on flash forward. The emotions she was expecting to feel never came and she smiled, knowing that she was finally content and happy where she was. She had gotten a cortex letter from Xaviar the night before. Bridgette and himself finally tied the knot and not only that, they found out Bridge was four months pregnant. The Captain and the crew of the Golden Dawn were finally coming into their own. Making a legit business deal with a few traders on some moons ...

It's time to forget about the past To wash away what happened last Hide behind an empty face Don't ask too much the same 'Cause this is just a game - Beautiful Lie – 30 Seconds To Mars Bel shut off the cortex, feeling better after talking to Sea and Sabrina. She sat back in her chair and looked out the window at the busy world outside and she contemplated everything that led up to this moment. Everything from the moment of her father’s death to the minute she left Hale’s Moon. Every second moving in her head like a movie on flash forward. The emotions she was expecting to feel never came and she smiled, knowing that she was finally content and happy where she was. She had gotten a cortex letter from Xaviar the night before. Bridgette and himself finally tied the knot and not only that, they found out Bridge was four months pregnant. The Captain and the crew of the Golden Dawn were finally coming into their own. Making a legit business deal with a few traders on some moons ...

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.” - T.E. LAWRENCE Bel tightened the sash of her jacket after she stepped out of the truck, her eyes moving around before settling on a man sitting alone on a bench. He fit the description. Black hair, scary looking, dressed in black. She took a deep breath and glanced at Walter, he nodded and stayed at the car while she walked over, her boots stomping lightly in the puddles of the street before she finally turned and sat down on the bench next to the man. A few minutes went by before she spoke, her head turned to watch him out of the corner of her eye. “Mr. Miraconi?” “Miss Belize Carver. Daughter of Jonas and Geneva Carver. At last we meet.” His voice was soft and silky and it made Bel’s muscles tense and ache as she sat there, wondering...

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder without any such gift from the fairies, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in. - Rachel Carson Bel sat on the balcony and watched the comings and goings of the street below, the cup of tea cooling in front of her as well as the singular muffin on a plate. The sights and sounds so familiar as she remembers not too long ago she was in this same spot, watching the world go by. She was even wearing the same robe that Grei had given her, the kimono style silk robe colorful in its pattern. The only difference was the small child cradled in her arms. Jonas nestled his little nose against her shoulder and huffed his cute little baby breaths while Bel watched the world rotate around them. She thought about everything that was going on, how she had contacted the man who was seeking her. This Alexander Miraconi. Bel cradled Jonas to her...