Survival In The Black

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder without any such gift from the fairies, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in. - Rachel Carson Bel sat on the balcony and watched the comings and goings of the street below, the cup of tea cooling in front of her as well as the singular muffin on a plate. The sights and sounds so familiar as she remembers not too long ago she was in this same spot, watching the world go by. She was even wearing the same robe that Grei had given her, the kimono style silk robe colorful in its pattern. The only difference was the small child cradled in her arms. Jonas nestled his little nose against her shoulder and huffed his cute little baby breaths while Bel watched the world rotate around them. She thought about everything that was going on, how she had contacted the man who was seeking her. This Alexander Miraconi. Bel cradled Jonas to her...

I walk through life with my conscience clear. I have done no wrong that deserves conviction. Yet here I stand, convicted on heresy, my life in your hands and in your own tainted conscience. And at night, when I sleep peacefully, without regret, I will not think of you. But of those souls who have lifted me up, instead of destroying what friendship there could have been. ~ Elizabeth Monroe Bel stepped off the ship, a man from the ship carrying hers and Taia’s bag while Bel snuggled the sleeping Jonas across her chest. Taia followed behind and looked around in wonder at all the lights and sounds and sights that awaited her at the night strewn Persephone. It was all old news to Bel, having stayed quite awhile on the planet while she took care of business. As Taia looked around at the new sights and sounds, Bel’s gaze was looking on the stretch car and driver sitting not far from her. His cap under his arm while he watched the people file off the large passenger ship, The Lincoln. She inwa...

Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other. It is the place of confidence. It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule. ~Frederick W. Robertson Bel looked at the cortex message and hummed while she read over the words. She frowned slightly before shrugging her shoulders and shutting down the machine. She tossed it onto the bed and continued to pack her bag. Seems about right. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Just wish he would have had the guts to tell me to my face. All fine and dandy with an armada behind him. But scared to face a woman. BUN tyen-shung duh ee-DWAY-RO. She took a deep breath as she turned to look at Taia and Jonas, the two looking out th...

What am I supposed to do to make you want me properly? I'm taking these chances and getting away And though I'm trying my hardest you back to her And I think that I know things may never change I'm still hoping one day I might hear you say I make you feel a way you've never felt before And I'm all you need and that you never want more Then you'd say all of the right things without a clue But you'd save the best for last Like I'm the one for you - Best for Last – Adele She stared at the piece of paper. The words swimming around in a spiral of coherent and incoherent. She wasn’t crying. She had shed enough tears to fill an ocean. She was sore from head to toe with pain wracked sobs that filled her body. She had stopped crying and started living only just recently. And now this… Walter and Sarah stared at her as she accessed the information. Worried eyes scanning over her features, looking for a crack in her demeanor. But she stood there. Unmoving as she st...

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened But in my dreams, I slew the dragon And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again And you say, just be here now Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin Let me throw one more dice I know that I can win I'm waiting for my real life to begin. -Waiting For My Real Life To Begin – Colin Hay There was too much blood, too much to see through. She fought in vain to find the leak. Her body shaking as she squinted behind her mask and glasses. Bel recited her song, singing in Japanese the song about the rabbit on the moon. She barely noticed the young woman standing across from her, suctioning up the blood from the wound. The heartbeat pinging on the monitor next to her was like a mantra… Live… Live… Live… Live… So when the beeping stopped. And all she could hear was the long whine of a heart not beating, Bel sprung into action. Injecting adrenaline into the still heart before trying d...

Yesterday I got so old I felt like I could die Yesterday I got so old It made me want to cry Go on go on Just walk away Your choice is made Go on go on And disappear Go on go on Away from here And I know I was wrong When I said it was true That it couldn’t be me and be her In between without you Without you - In Between Days by The Cure Belize lifted her face up to the bright sunshine on Persephone, blissfully ignoring the sounds and voices that lifted around her like a fog. It only took a minute for her to shake it off, the sound of Sarah’s voice poking through the hazy introspective like a sharp needle. “You are looking happier, My Bel.” Sarah had taken to calling her My Bel, since the agreement was that she wouldn’t try to convert her into her flock of sheep. In fact, Sarah was quite adamant that it wouldn’t happen at all. She was in the opinion that people make choices and it was respectful to accept them. Bel had changed into a kimono dressing gown that Grei had given her for her ...

Sorrow lasts through this night I'll take this piece of you And hold for all eternity For just one second I felt whole As you flew right through me Left alone with only reflections of the memory To face the ugly girl That's smothering me Sitting closer than my pain - Sorrow by Flyleaf The trip was longer than forever, but shorter than eternity. It felt like eons has passed since she left Hale’s. She knew it was only a 14 hour trip. Too much time to think thoughts she knew she couldn’t think without breaking out the bandana that was tucked into her travel bag. So she spent the time reading. She lovingly cradled the book in her hands. Her father’s gross anatomy book. Older than her, but rebound by her Ge ge, Td. She traced her fingers along the spine before opening it up, reading over the faded notes on the border. Scribbled lines of handwriting she knew too well. Her father’s. She smiled as she started reading. She knew the wo...

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that w...