The Anti-Love Plan of Action..
“Your body needs to be held and to hold, to be touched and to touch. None of these needs is to be despised, denied, or repressed. But you have to keep searching for your body's deeper need, the need for genuine love. Every time you are able to go beyond the body's superficial desires for love, you are bringing your body home and moving toward integration and unity. “ – Henri Nouwen
With heartbreak comes uncertainty. With uncertainty comes dilemma. And with dilemma comes a touch of madness.
I think I reached the madness stage. But it doesn’t seem like madness to me. The concept was there. The idea… all I needed was the ingredients.
It all was born in Seana’s ship. I had finished talking to Immi. And I didn’t want to go back to my ship just yet. So I let her know I was coming. I apologized for earlier. And then I broke down.
How stupid could I be? I knew what I was getting into. I knew that he didn’t love me. Could never love me. Would never love me. I felt the feelings because I let them happen. I felt the feelings because… it felt natural.
And that is when it hit me. If I could come up with a chemical that could numb the lobe that controls the romantic love process. It was ingenious. I would still feel the love of my friends. But I would never get my heart broke again.
It would take weeks of study. I would have to contact my people and get the needed chemicals. Contact my cousin.. do some sneaky questioning on his idea of how that would go around. I suppose I could say I am studying again. And it was some kind of question brought up.
It will take a lot of preparing and sneakiness.
In essence, I could solve all my problems with one shot to Immi. But I would never do that. She at least deserves happiness. If I do this to myself, I would never know what I am missing..
The anti-love serum. Made to numb those feelings of love.
And right about now, I need that.
I only hope that no one suspects what I am really doing. That I am not in Persephone. That I am closer to Hale's than they think.
With heartbreak comes uncertainty. With uncertainty comes dilemma. And with dilemma comes a touch of madness.
I think I reached the madness stage. But it doesn’t seem like madness to me. The concept was there. The idea… all I needed was the ingredients.
It all was born in Seana’s ship. I had finished talking to Immi. And I didn’t want to go back to my ship just yet. So I let her know I was coming. I apologized for earlier. And then I broke down.
How stupid could I be? I knew what I was getting into. I knew that he didn’t love me. Could never love me. Would never love me. I felt the feelings because I let them happen. I felt the feelings because… it felt natural.
And that is when it hit me. If I could come up with a chemical that could numb the lobe that controls the romantic love process. It was ingenious. I would still feel the love of my friends. But I would never get my heart broke again.
It would take weeks of study. I would have to contact my people and get the needed chemicals. Contact my cousin.. do some sneaky questioning on his idea of how that would go around. I suppose I could say I am studying again. And it was some kind of question brought up.
It will take a lot of preparing and sneakiness.
In essence, I could solve all my problems with one shot to Immi. But I would never do that. She at least deserves happiness. If I do this to myself, I would never know what I am missing..
The anti-love serum. Made to numb those feelings of love.
And right about now, I need that.
I only hope that no one suspects what I am really doing. That I am not in Persephone. That I am closer to Hale's than they think.
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