Forever, if need be.
I had to be dreaming. This had to be a dream. How could this be real? How… could any of this be real?
All I could feel was Duncan’s arms wrapped around me, his lips pressing against mine. I clung to his shirt, feeling the soft and worn cotton against my hands and the scent of him filling my senses. My brain was all muffled and I couldn’t think. All I could think about was how he tasted and felt against me.
I spent so much time setting myself to failure in relationships, I finally just succumbed to the idea that I was never going to be in one again. In essence, I was just looking for a warm body. Someone to hold and hug and be with to chase the loneliness away.
I never expected this. Spending so much time with him. I felt a tug. A tug towards him. We made a deal. Whenever we felt lonely, we would be with each other. Nothing sexual. Just talk and company. But it grew for me. I didn’t know about him. His feelings for Immi were so powerful. And I felt I could never compete with that. So I accepted what I could. Every moment was precious. Every minute was worth more than it’s weight in gold. And with every second in his presence, I felt my heart warm for him.
But I cant say that word. The word that has made me cry. So I wont. My feelings are purer than that for him. Because I go to sleep thinking about him. I wake up and my first thoughts are about him. I spend the day without him wondering and worrying about him. And when I am with him. My only thought is to make him smile and laugh. To make him happy.
Then that day on the hill. He told me he had feelings for me. But he didn’t want to be with me and have me think his thoughts were on Immi. So noble of him. And yet so frustrating. So we agreed to take it slow. Let it take us where it wanted to.
And then… he admitted he thought about me. How he loved my green eyes. How he wanted me. But he wanted me to know that when the time was right he wanted me to be absolutely sure it was him and I.. and no one else in his thoughts.
And that is how we came to this. Kissing behind a hay cart like two teenagers snuck out of their parents house. And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at this moment.
I don’t know where this will go. I don’t know how long it will last. But for the moment, it’s all I have. And I am willing to take as long as it takes to wait for use. Forever if need be. Im getting back on the horse. Im taking another chance.
All I could feel was Duncan’s arms wrapped around me, his lips pressing against mine. I clung to his shirt, feeling the soft and worn cotton against my hands and the scent of him filling my senses. My brain was all muffled and I couldn’t think. All I could think about was how he tasted and felt against me.
I spent so much time setting myself to failure in relationships, I finally just succumbed to the idea that I was never going to be in one again. In essence, I was just looking for a warm body. Someone to hold and hug and be with to chase the loneliness away.
I never expected this. Spending so much time with him. I felt a tug. A tug towards him. We made a deal. Whenever we felt lonely, we would be with each other. Nothing sexual. Just talk and company. But it grew for me. I didn’t know about him. His feelings for Immi were so powerful. And I felt I could never compete with that. So I accepted what I could. Every moment was precious. Every minute was worth more than it’s weight in gold. And with every second in his presence, I felt my heart warm for him.
But I cant say that word. The word that has made me cry. So I wont. My feelings are purer than that for him. Because I go to sleep thinking about him. I wake up and my first thoughts are about him. I spend the day without him wondering and worrying about him. And when I am with him. My only thought is to make him smile and laugh. To make him happy.
Then that day on the hill. He told me he had feelings for me. But he didn’t want to be with me and have me think his thoughts were on Immi. So noble of him. And yet so frustrating. So we agreed to take it slow. Let it take us where it wanted to.
And then… he admitted he thought about me. How he loved my green eyes. How he wanted me. But he wanted me to know that when the time was right he wanted me to be absolutely sure it was him and I.. and no one else in his thoughts.
And that is how we came to this. Kissing behind a hay cart like two teenagers snuck out of their parents house. And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else at this moment.
I don’t know where this will go. I don’t know how long it will last. But for the moment, it’s all I have. And I am willing to take as long as it takes to wait for use. Forever if need be. Im getting back on the horse. Im taking another chance.
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